5 Listening Traps Brilliant Leaders Avoid
Although we have all been facing much change due to the pandemic, we thought it might be nice to step back to discuss a basic Brilliant Leader principal…Listening.
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and then we must use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
~ Anthony Robbins
Have you ever noticed how GOOD it feels to be really listened to? It’s impactful and conveys respect and value.
The ability to effectively communicate with others remains the single most important factor on a leader’s list of attributes. A big part of effective communication is active listening. Unfortunately, one of the big communications challenges most people face is that we don't actively listen to understand. We listen to reply.
How many times have you forgotten the name of someone who’s just been introduced? It happens all the time. Why? Because people pay only scant attention to what is being said. They’re already formulating their reply or have mentally moved on to the next topic or person.
For those of you who follow our Brilliant Leader Program foundation, Color Code, you know that red and yellow personality types usually have the most difficulty when it comes to active listening because either they are only half focused on the conversation, or their attention span doesn’t have time for long drawn-out stories or explanations. A blue and white personality type may also struggle with active listening, but it’s due to far different reasons. A Blue might get stuck pondering their response to a particular statement while the conversation has moved on, and a White can become so busy analyzing the words the speaker used, they miss the essence of what is being said. In a nutshell, all people regardless of their personality type, face challenges when it comes to giving their full attention to the “here-and -now” conversations.
To help us keep our listening channels open, here are five communication traps any person could easily avoid. See if you can identify someone you know who may fall into these listening traps. Who knows? It might even be you.
Tuning Out—Not paying attention to the speaker due to disinterest in the speaker or subject. Thinking about other things or multitasking.
Rehearsing—Concentrating on what to say or do next rather than focusing on the speaker’s message. Planning the next steps before the speaker has finished.
Detachment—Remaining emotionally detached from the speaker, concerned with content only and not the feelings behind it. Only half listening or not interacting, thereby missing the message’s underlying meaning.
Judging—Having a different opinion that causes the listener to block out new ideas and information. Over analyzing the speaker’s underlying meaning causing you to miss the point.
Controlling the Conversation—Failure to allow the speaker to talk at his or her own pace. Constantly interrupting with comments or questions.
When you find yourself facing one of these common listening traps, it’s time to adjust your communication style to meet the needs of your listener.
If you’re guilty of any of these communication traps, take a moment to assess why. Then, using what you know about the Brilliant Leader principals, refocus your attention and take responsibility for becoming an effective active listener.
Active listening is everyone’s responsibility. If each of us takes the time to really listen to what others say, think, and feel, I believe we’ll foster a better sense of community and stronger understanding between all people.